I have been practicing meditation for sometimes now and recently, something that happened 17 years ago come to mind out of the blue.
When I was in high school, I also attended a gifted program in a reputable college. Each student have an assigned "college" mentor who s/he lived with on campus every summer during the four years. I grew especially closed to this one guy (not my mentor but one of them in the program) and we shared a lot of stories about ourselves .. background and blah, blah, blah. One time, he told me about his "first" time and it was with another female mentor in the prog. It was supposed to be a secret.
Unfortunately, I was also closed to another students (ex-gf) and accidentally and I do mean accidentally, blab it out when we chatted over the phone. The female mentor was actually her mentor .. what a coincidence it was. Anyway, I told her not to tell anybody about it afterward.
Obviously, y'all know the rest of the story .. she blabbed it out to another friend of the program and the female mentor learned about it. She was very awkward and left the program. The guy obviously got the news and confronted me about why I told others about it. I DENIED it only to be told that I am the only one he has ever shared the story. I GOT CAUGHT LYING.
I eventually wrote him an apology letter and ended my friendship with that gal (exgf). The guy forgave me but our relationship was never the same again .. very distance now .. so much that I wasn't even invited to his wedding. We hung out a few time afterward and he helped me got my first job at a very good com right after college but I never really apologize to him face-to-face. I sorta pretended it was over and moved on.
The fact that this came to mind out of the blue and yes, I do care a lot about the relationship. Do ya'll think I should just meet up with him and apologize in person even after these many years .. kinda get it off my chest thing? Probably think I am crazy??
Thinking back .. I was hurt quite a bit .. I lost three supposedly friends (the guy, gf, and program female mentor) as well as the trust from those who knew/heard about it. I was afraid to go back to reunion cuz of this incident. The guy went to all of it but stopped after the incident too.
Sigh .. what do ya'll think??????? Too gay if I do so .. right??