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  1. #1
    Self Schemata
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Somewhere out there
    Posts
    4,878

    Some jokes for the day.

    Smart-ass Answer #1:

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

    As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened

    his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat...she said,

    Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."



    Smart-ass Answer #2:

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but

    couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,

    "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're
    dead."



    Smart-ass Answer #3:

    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled

    down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid

    replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally

    stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.



    Smart-ass Answer #4:

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads,

    Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge

    is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up

    for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car

    and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
    "Got



    stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
    ran

    out of gas."


    SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR:


    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's

    final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here

    tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or

    illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses

    whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
    asked,

    "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and

    utter sexual exhaustion?"

    The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is

    restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head,and

    sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other

    hand."
    http://www.jibjab.com/view/543

  2. #2
    NSFW? :P
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    2,521
    I read the last one a few years ago.
    Wit is educated insolence.

  3. #3
    Almost Fobulous
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Bay Area
    Posts
    1,291
    i gotta try #3 one day if i ever get pulled over and the cop said that he was waiting for me all day.
    the last one was pretty funny too

  4. #4
    Almost Fobulous
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    somewhere
    Posts
    1,043
    ^^ IF you do happen to use No.3, tell us how it goes
    Joey yung is the best


 

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