So did she get back pregnant?
I just met a girl at a bar last night. Told me she's from nevada and want to breK up with her bf. I invited her for some drinks then shit happened but it was fun ;]
T.I "God will take you through hell just to get you to Heaven"
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Update Time! (Sorry been kinda busy)
Okay so I completely misread the situation. The guy is a really good guy. I had a chance to chat with him and we really left on a good note (I actually want to go to Toronto and hang out with him given the chance this winter). I'm not worried that they did anything so let's drop that topic. She had a really good time, met and hung out with a big group of both girls and guys.
The new problem is that she really did have too much fun on vacation. And that at first she did miss me a lot but as she met new people and did things, she told me that just kinda just forgot about me. This just really made her question whether we are right for each other. We do love each other a lot. But now I am completely stumped as to where to go from here.
The most I can do is to try my best to improve myself and our relationship and hope I can change her views. I really am trying to make our relationship more "complete". I also offered her a chance to opt out of the relationship but she refused and I know she loves me just as much as I love her. But yeah...
In summary. She feels "the grass is greener on the other side" after her long and fun vacation. I completely understand that though. We've been together for two years and we got comfortable and everything has been quite routine.
She is having her own personal struggle in that she is only 21 and she thinks that by committing to me, she could be losing a part of her youth that she'll never get back.
Our relationship is like no other and both of us know that. However, I was naive at first thinking we would last forever and that I would have all the time in the world with her. But now I understand that there really is a possibility that I can lose her. I feel like I truly neglected her at times and I don't blame her for the way she feels. I really want to make things right and I started a "relationship bucket list" of all the things I want to do with her. But I don't know if it might be too late. We both agreed that she should settle back into her normal life before we make any drastic decisions.
I would specially love to hear some female's opinions and views on this. And to the gentlemen: if you're just going to go on about how she probably slept with a billion dudes, save it, I trust her and I don't want to hear it. Let's keep the thread troll free. Thanks.
Damn, this is going to be one long thread...should just rename it to Nirv's relationship problems(or start a new one).
you can deny it all you want Nirvania but we told you so...
please use the forum when requesting movies/music : do not pm me! noobs specifically..
Lmao OP I'd go
As fast as I can.
She went. She saw. Now the grass is greener on the other side as she returns.
Signs are all there.
You'd be a fool to stay with her after she told that to you.
she saw the world.. n now she wants go n explore...
you can't really hold her back.. just do your thing now..
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OP how old are you ? your gf is 21 so you should be around 23 then right ? damn you are pretty mature !
When I was 23 I was the "jealous for anything" guy and it broke my relationships because of that.
Now, I think like you, you took the right decisions. You guys are still young, commitment at that young age, maybe one of you or both of you will regret it later.
My moto is: if you truly love someone, you must be able to let it go if he/she isn't happy anymore with you. Its' ok to try once or twice to repair things but that's it.
Though I'm not much older, I do say when I was your age, my girlfriend at the time had traveled to another country for some time, and also came to the conclusion of the the grass is greener on the other side. Despite staying together, after a while the relationship eventually failed. I dare not say where your relationship is headed, but take it as a warning. Trust is a good thing, no doubt but.. ignorance is not. Since it's just all words, its hard for me to know if you're trusting her and accepting what she did, or blinded by love and then accepting whatever she did. You're her boyfriend, not a safety net, she can't at her will decide to leave you alone for a while and experience the joy of the worlds and then come back to you afterwards for whatever reasons, likewise she wouldn't be too happy if you went to meet up with another girl for a week or two.
From here on out, you're decision was to give it all another shot which no one can judge if it was wrong or not except you. But be absolutely sure that you two are in love with each other, and not in love with the idea of being in love...it's two different things (makes us do irrational things!). Regardless, you two are still young, there will be many more headaches ahead of you guys~ Just take it a step at a time.
From a girl's perspective,
I went through the same thing when I was 20 when I left for a summer program in Quebec. Even though my boyfriend and I skyped, he just seemed clingy to me in that he was always the one to initiate a conversation or skype call and I wasn't particularly longing for those calls, wondering what he was up to, etc.
I would be out trying new things and meeting new people and everything exciting that was going on made the boyfriend seem more like an anchor I started wondering whether it was normal for him to miss me more than I missed him. Thinking back on it now, I was over thinking things for someone my age. In actuality, I think I wanted him to get a life outside of me (barely had friends that we didn't already then share). Something that we could talk to each other about without both of us actually having been there. I probably wouldn't have had those thoughts of "are we actually right for each other?" if I was wondering what he was up to while I was out and about. Unfortunately, I think it felt more along the lines of "I'm doing all these new things and you're waiting at home for me to tell you about them." So if this sounds familiar, I'd advise you to go and do something for yourself, not just as a couple.
What also didn't help that at the time were couples around me that had been together since the beginning of high school that seemed like their relationship had become just "bleh." Their commitment to each other seemed like it was just for the sake of commitment and I didn't want to become them. It didn't help that we as a couple had started running out of new things to do together which furthered my thoughts of having become an old married couple. So I understand where your girlfriend is coming from with her thoughts of "losing her youth."
In the end, we broke up and it was devastating even though I was the one who wanted it. I missed the feelings I had during the courtship (feeling desired by this new person that's new and interesting) and the absence of it made me waver and question everything. My advice to your relationship would be to bring back the exciting moments of when you were pursuing her and if that didn't exist, then to start it now. I can't explain the exact details because it probably varies by person, but overall...it's the feeling that comes from knowing the guy is afraid of losing your attention at any moment, the feeling of being desired and not just already "taken" and in for the long haul.
If you end up doing something on your own and find that you too don't miss her as much...that's probably normal but I'd imagine you'd want to share news in your life with your sig other in a way that's like "wow that's interesting/annoying/bleh/blah, I'mma tell so and so about it later" The lack of new conversation really got to me :\
If you find that spending time together and talking about your new findings feels like a report or even troublesome and out of your way...well then you've got trouble.
Hope that helped.
LD really doesnt last. Like this girl from class, she was dating this guy for a number of years, but then took a year to go work overseas before coming back to finish the last year of school. I think at times maybe he visited? idk, knew her, didnt know him. anyways, all of a sudden, all pictures and posts and notes and stuff that had him in it were all deleted.....and i thought she turned lesbian
But hey who knows, that Halo 3 LD relationship lol.....maybe itll work, maybe not.
@suijei, yeah defn do not be clingy.....learnt it the hard way..
^ lol @ the pink bag
thats some deep embracing.